I am an idiot. I am facing eternity. I know it cannot be otherwise. I need discipline. I lack it completely. Discipline is not reppression. FROM NOW ON! No PLAY before WORK! I AM NOT CAPABLE OF MANAGING IT RESPONSIBLY! I must believe in something. I must believe in myself. I must believe in something eternal within myself. Discipline. Suffering. Man is something that must be overcome. Man is something that must be overcome.